Regain Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for survival. If we didn’t have the boundary of our skin, we would die. Psychological health is also dependant on boundaries. If we are not able to separate who we are from the people and groups around us, we become less able to make healthy choices for ourselves.

Boundaries tell people who they are and how others are different. They give us information about safety by letting us know if we are in danger in a situation or if we are harming others. When people don’t have good boundaries, they are more easily victims and perpetrators of abuse, deal ineffectually with issues of control and domination, and can struggle with allowing themselves to get close to others or paradoxically drive others away because they demand too much closeness.

You can profit from spending time on boundaries when:

• You struggle with delegation.
• You are consistently stressed because of over-commitment.
• You realize that you sometimes don’t like the way that you treat other people.
• You don’t like the people with whom you spend most of your time.
• You don’t have any close friends or family members.
• You can’t make a list of things you like about yourself.
• You can’t make lists of things you like about the people you spend most of your time with.
• Your hobby is gossiping or your relationships are built on sharing gossip.
• You describe yourself as a victim.
• Other people tell you that you ask too much from them.
• You often feel guilty.